After years of roaming around Bangkok and its surrounds, meeting people, and trying to familiarize myself with the vibe of the city, I’ve been very lucky to have built up a pretty good selection of solid, trustworthy friends. In a city full of some very eccentric and strange people, that’s no easy task. However, the other night at a very crowded event, it hit me that “my time” in Bangkok – that is, when I was at ‘peak social’ and knew a goodly chunk of the expat population by name – was over. At 39 and 13 years into my life here, I’m an old man.

A lot of people I used to hang out with regularly are long gone, and it seems that every few months another 2 or 3 move on to new things in new lands. I guess someone’s got to replace them.

Much like realizing you’ve put on weight, or that your pet is getting bigger, you don’t notice it while it’s happening. But then one day you see an old picture of yourself or your pet and it hits you. That’s what happened to me the other night when I was at an event which was heavily attended by the expat community. It was the annual birthday/block party for El Osito and/or La Monita, two of the best Mexican/Tapas restaurants in town. After some mingling and the sharing of a few tacos and beers with a couple of people that I knew, I did some walking around, scanning the crowd for friendly faces, and it hit me: I knew almost no one there.

This was about 50% of the crowd. I know precisely 0 people in this shot.

This was about 50% of the crowd. I know precisely 0 people in this shot.

Of course I’m not saying I don’t know anyone anymore. I’m lucky enough to have quite a large group of good friends and associates which I value very highly, and many events that I do attend are full of friends. But if I had attended an event like this when I was at ‘peak social’ I certainly would have known a larger percentage of people than I did this time around. It makes sense…a lot of people I used to hang out with regularly are long gone, and it seems that every few months another 2 or 3 move on to new things in new lands. I guess someone’s got to replace them.

Thinking about it, I estimate that a large number of foreigners who move here are gone within 5 years, replaced by a newer, younger crowd. Watching them go through the same growing pains that I did when I first arrived is amusing, but it does get a bit tedious after a while. That’s one reason why I feel like I know less people than I once did – who wants to sit around and talk about the best clubs or how to get the right visa, or which neighborhoods are good to live in? Been there, done that.

My assessment isn’t scientific by any stretch of the imagination, so maybe there are just more expats in Bangkok now overall? Perhaps the use of social media has made the expat community here much more cohesive, and has increased access to events like the one above? Or maybe it had to do with the fact that El Osito provided free food and beer, which will always draw an extra-healthy crowd.

Whatever it was, it sure was clear that the expat community in Bangkok has seen a pretty large injection of new blood. Either that or I’m just getting old, and my days of ‘peak social’ are far behind me.

It’s likely a combination of both.