For a few years now, expats have been getting a semi-regular dose of laughs from Thailand’s own version of The Onion called Not the Nation. It’s a takeoff of The Nation, one of Thailand’s two English dailies, and has a particular talent for skewering all that’s ridiculous and wonderful about Thailand with deadly accuracy. One recent post told how exiled ex-PM Thaksin was raising an army of Orcs; another headline declared Love of Thai food Discussed Over Lunch at Burger King. One of the website’s latest ads deserved special mention, because it hits the nail on the head so completely.
I know I sound like a bitter old man, but I really hate clubs and clubbing. I got all that out of my system when I was 19. They’re too loud to talk, too crowded to dance and too expensive to enjoy, so I avoid them like a vegetarian hamburger. The ad below, taken from NotTheNation.com, sums up my exact feelings pretty perfectly:
What would happen if we were all 100% honest.
It says:
Club Douchebag
Bangkok’s most exclusive-pretending hangout for exhibitionist nouveau rich and pretentious expatriate scum.
Featuring: 54 year old ‘international’ DJs who played Ibiza like once in 1988 and won’t let you forget it.
850 baht shots of gourmet tequila, absinthe or whatever FHM says they’re drinking in London
Really tall but conveniently poor Ukrainian models
Spotlight VIP parking for tiny-penis Ferrari owners
Dancing middle-aged farangs (foreigners) in white dress shoes
Hepatitis B
The funny thing about NotTheNation.com is that no one I’ve talked to knows who runs it – or at least if they do they’re not saying. A whois query lists a proxy via GoDaddy.com registered in Arizona, but that’s it. Given some of the hilarious yet borderline libellous (or worse) ads and stories on the site, it’s probably a good idea to remain hidden – but much loved by Thailand’s expat community.
Clubbing in Bangkok is ridiculous. 200 baht+ for a beer. For me that is aus$9, I could go to all the top clubs in Sydney and never pay anything like that for a local brew, even an import would be pushing it. Add onto that an $17 entry fee and it is starting to look like a complete joke.
But as my friends always say Thailand is soooo cheap…
…yeah right.
(Actually I get free entry and free drinks most places and I still choose not to go out)
It’s true… 500b just to get in the door is a bit ridiculous and shows how desperate people are to… uh, stand around and sip watered down drinks? Seems like a waste of time for me. The thing that’s great about Thailand is that it CAN be cheap… but if you want to live similarly to how you live at home, it’s not as cheap as most think.
I’ve also wondered who is behind Not The Nation. I did the whois lookup and everything. Any other leads? The site updates infrequently enough that it may well be a one man operation. The more people you involve, the harder to keep the secret.
I agree… probably one dude with a Mac sitting in a Starbucks, but he’s good. Given the amount of writers I know, I might even know the guy, but he’s certainly no bragging about it.
Or maybe… it’s you! I don’t know who to trust anymore (besides Not The Nation, the website I can trust).
c'mon folks, we can do better.. let's take back our title! we can do it
I have no idea how to provide feedback to let the NtN team know how much I enjoy their work (clearly they can’t give us a means which could be traced), so I’m hoping they might see it here . . .
Well done guys – probably the best way to get “uninitiated” farang to begin to realise things are not always as they may seem at first glance.
And hugely funny to those of us who have been visiting the LoS for many years.
Thanks Geoff, and you’re right, probably better they remain anonymous. I know people who know who does it, but it’s a very closely guarded secret. I just wished they’d update it more often!