This is a question that, without fail, I’m asked every time a friend visits: which island do I recommend? That’s a bit like answering which type of soda I prefer – it will usually vary greatly depending on the mood I’m in. Usually it’s Coke, but sometimes I dig a Sprite. Sometimes I want a Diet Pepsi, and other times I’ll walk to the corner store just to suck down an Orange Fanta. Thailand’s islands are much the same – each offers many of the same things, but also differ greatly depending on where you go. Some have parties, some are nearly deserted; some are little more than miles of beach, others have a few rocky shoals but fantastic hiking in the interior. There are a lot of logistical factors to consider too, such as – can you fly there? If you can, do you have the money to spare? Does the train go there? If it does, do you have the time to spare? Despite not being a beach guy (I get bored after a day or two), I’ve been to quite a few islands in Thailand – Samet, Chang, Samui, Pha Ngan, Lippe, Lao Liang, Kut, Phuket, Taruato, etc, so I have some basis for arguing. Below, I’m going to talk about which island is my favourite and why. There might even be some math involved.

The first thing you have to keep in mind is that to find the ‘tropical paradise’ that you see on postcards (miles of deserted beaches unspoiled by development or fat Germans in Speedos), you have to work for it. Essentially – the harder your island is to get to, the nicer it will be.

For my money, you can’t beat Ko Samet. It’s small (less than 10 sq.km) and close to Bangkok (2 hour bus ride from Ekkamai station; 120 baht). If I was visiting Thailand on vacation and had more time, sure, I’d check out beaches further south, but in all honesty, Samet is pretty damn beautiful. The water isn’t blue, but it’s blue; the sand isn’t white, but it’s white. The food is good, the people are nice, and fun is easy to find. There’s Samet in the below picture, not too far from Bangkok:

Bangkok at top, Samet circled in red. Google says it takes 2.5 hours to get there but clearly they don't know how Thai bus drivers drive.

Bangkok at top, Samet circled in red. Google says it takes 2.5 hours to get there but clearly they don’t know how Thai bus drivers drive.

And a quick shot of an average beach on Samet. Nothing anyone will lose their mind for, but still nothing to sneeze at:

Blue water, white sand. What else do you want, a beer as well? Forget abou...oh, here you go.

Blue water, white sand. What else do you want, a beer as well? Forget abou…oh, here you go.

A few years ago I headed down to Ko Lippe, down near the Malaysian border. Now, Lippe was absolutely stunning – I could have set my camera’s auto-timer, thrown it in the air, and captured a postcard-perfect picture – but it was such a pain to get to. Overnight train, 2 hour van to the pier, 3 hour boat ride… it was essentially 110% more traveling to get to and island that’s maybe 20% more beautiful than Samet, which wasn’t worth it for me. There’s got to be a formula for this, some way that lets us plug in the numbers and gives us a result that we can use to judge if an island will be a good fit for us. something like: overall enjoyment = (number of bars + average monthly tourist traffic) x miles of beach / (hours of travel to get there + average room cost in dollars). There’s Lippe, below:

Probably the worst view on the island.

Probably the worst view on the island.

So whenever I need to get away for a quick one, Samet is where I head. However, the news reports are right – it is growing at an untenable pace; trash isn’t cleaned up as quickly as it should be, and the treeline is getting pushed back as more and more resorts go up, so in another five years it might not be so nice. It also has the unfortunate luck to be located in a national park, which means that the blatantly racist ‘double pricing‘ system is in effect (Thais pay 20 baht to get in; foreigners, $200 baht, but we’ll talk about this in an upcoming story). My advice – if you’ve got the time, head to Samet for a few days and see what you like about it. Is it the deserted beaches? The 6am jog on the beach? The all-night parties? The food? The locals? The tourists you meet? Based on that criteria, you can better target your next island destination, because Thailand’s got enough islands for everyone, no matter what your taste.