Every big city has its own unique attitude, and likewise everyone living in every one of these big cities requires a certain set of implements, tools and gear in order to get the most out of life there. In my home city – Calgary, Alberta (motto: “You don’t work with horses or in oil? What do you do?”) – the necessary tools were, among others, a car (it’s a big city area-wise), winter clothes, and maybe a pack of Skoal if you want to mimic the stanky, cancer-ridden jawline of your cowboy heroes. Bangkok is no different – with its vast canvas of contrasting landscapes, transport, people, and infrastructure, it’s a much more enjoyable place to live if you have the right tools to cut through the din. I came up with a few items that make my life in Bangkok that much easier.
Handkerchief
Despite the ridiculous amount of transport options, you never know when you’re going to find yourself out for a ‘quick’ walk in the tropical heat. In the winter time it’s not so bad, but come April, even a quick jaunt to the 7-11 can result in sweat dripping off your nose. What are you going to do, wipe it back into your hair? Squeegee it off your face onto your shirt? No, my friend, you whip this bad boy out of your pocket, clean up, and be on your merry way. Bonus use: Let’s just say that it’s not unheard of to find yourself in an emergency situation in a bathroom without toilet paper, and leave it at that.
iPod
Bangkok is one of the noisiest cities in the world. Indeed, the last bastion of semi-silence in the city – the MRT subway system – has now been ruined with the addition of televisions showing obnoxiously loud and annoying commercials that no one is insterested in. Even the stellar Not the Nation got in on the action with a story titled “Hundreds Gathering at Last Quiet Spot in Bangkok.” The only way to offer even a feeble fight against this aural onslaught is with music blasting into your ears. Pro tip: Not recommended: Enya, Sigur Ros, or Yani. Recommended: Metallica, Pearl Jam, or Skunk Anansie. If you don’t like music, you can listen to Celine Dion or recordings of a stressed-out fruit bat, which are approximately the same thing.
Good Shoes
It’s no secret that Bangkok’s sidewalks suck. Telephone booths, stairwells, utility poles and food vendors fight for precious sidewalk real estate, while potholes, loose tiles, stray dogs and the occasional CHUD do their best to break your ankles and/or devour your flesh. Thai women are the only ones able to navigate this urban maze with high-heels; all others should wear running shoes. I joke, but seriously – one trip on a narrow sidewalk next to a busy road and you’ll suddenly find yourself in front of an oncoming bus. Bonus: There is no bonus, it’s hard to look cool in running shoes if you’re not exercising, but it’s that or the bus.
BTS/MRT cards
I love living in Bangkok, but one of the worst moments is when you go to buy a card for the skytrain or subway at rush hour and find yourself in a line that stretches 80 meters down the walkway. It’s becoming incresingly obvious that the aging skytrain stations are too narrow and hobbled with poor crowd control mechanisms to be anything but a huge pain during rush hour…unless!…you are lucky enough to have a pre-paid card in your pocket. It won’t make the stations any bigger, but it will mean you don’t have to wait in some huge-ass line with a bunch of non-ticket holding suckers for 30 minutes…just to get change for the machines, which you then have to line up for. Bonus: They also make wicked ninja throwing cards if you’re cornered. Warning: This will probably not work.
Smartphone
Obviously this one isn’t necessary, but it sure makes things easier. Bangkok’s spaghetti-tangle of roads and sois are very easy to get lost in, and a GPS device in your pocket is sometimes an invaluable help if you’re unfamiliar with the city. Also, the Thai word for far, ไกล (glai) sounds eerily similar to the Thai word for near, ใกล้ (glai, but with a different tone). Take it from me, asking someone if your destination is far and hearing “No, not far!” makes for a really crappy 30 minutes of walking if you actually asked if it was close and got “No, not close!” Knowing exactly how far away you are can be immensely handly. Bonus: Use it as an iPod (item #2), a talking dictionary (with the right app), and a handkerchief (item #1) if you’re rich!
So, if you’ve got some or most of these things, you should be in pretty good shape for making your way around the city. What did I miss?
I agree with all the things you listed here and I think the number one use for Smartphones is to get updated with everything under the sun. I do not watch the news on TV I just get some updates via Twitter and some from ThaiVisa which helps a lot if I am stuck in traffic.
Footwear you said so, as a fashionable person working here minus the car hahahah it is hard to walk from the BTS station or the bus station going to events and worse even in the mall. That is why I always carry a large bag so that I can put my heels or flip flops inside it.
I think one thing you missed or maybe it is just me is that a peppermint inhaler. Sometimes the buses and even the BTS trains smells like crap…and if it gets too crowded you need that little inhaler of yours to prevent you from fainting…
Great posts…
Thanks for sharing
Sweet
<A HREF="http://www.pensandlens.me">PensandLens</A>
Really like your iPod tip… but you know what would make it even better? If you have some awesome noise-cancelling earphones for the iPod that doesn't look like it's trying to packaging your head. I don't know how that can be accomplished – but I hate turning up the volume on my earphones because of the noise contest outside. But I don't want to walk around with a pair of huge headphones all the time. Any tips?
Hi Greg,
Handkerchief – Yes, indispensible.
IPod – No, it’s not natural, man. The world is full of its own beautiful music even if it does sound like a traffic jam.
Good shoes – Yes, except the shoes in your picture…too bad for the ladies who are slaves to fashion. That’s gotta hurt.
BTS/MRT cards – Yes. Sigh…one of these days I’ll break out of those lines.
Smartphone – Yes. You are only as smart as your phone.
I think you covered the basic externals. The required skill sets include being able to cross the street and getting people to understand you. Different topic and post.
Thanks for this.
awesome post! I never leave home without my handkerchief, earphones attached to my iphone, bts/mrt cards and some small bills/coins. Oh and plastic bag for my head in case it rains (joking).
hi greg,
i really like the part about finding yourself in front of an oncoming bus. ahhh, good times…i'd almost forgotten about it for a while there 🙂
i'd add menthol talc powder to your list, found it very useful over there.
big kiss,
nadine
p.s. any date yet?
good list
Disinfectant – Bangkok is a crowded place with loads of great food. I always eat and snack a lot when I am in Bangkok, and I really don't want to consume anything else than than the food itself. Cleaning hands with spirits makes you feel fresh, clean and ready to eat with good conscience.
Great post and great blog!
Good one Niels, those little tubes of disinfectant hand gel are great. I never use one myself, but it certainly can't hurt.
try noise suppressing in-ear headphones
http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=in+ear+headphones&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
@Mike C: Thanks! I've ordered some from Shure now, looks good.
A hoopy frood will always know where his towel or handkerchief is. Excellent advice.
Just found your blog and am reading through it as right now it seems I'm either going to end up in Singapore or Bangkok. Great stuff (particularly involving Firefly marathons)
Thanks Seve Z. Don't bother with Singapore, Bangkok's where it's at! 🙂
That's the rumor!
If it holds true I'll owe you a beer when I get there.
Great post (among others – I’ve only just discovered your site), couldn’t agree more on the far/not far front! Fallen prey to that one too many times…
Thanks Chris, glad to hear that damn near/far thing wasn’t getting only me. Here’s to hearing it next time and understanding it. 🙂