If I were to stand up in a crowd and say “Thai food is the best food in the world,” I probably wouldn’t get too many people telling me I’m wrong. Thai food is awesome, and anyone who says otherwise is evil. But every once in a while, I get a strong craving for a good taste of home, and nothing says “Alberta farm boy” like a good ol’ fashioned sandwich. Or sammich, as I prefer to call them. Bangkok has some pretty badass sammich places, but nothing says homemade like…uh, homemade. So, during a weekend where I didn’t have much to do, I took some inspiration from the internet and decided to make the mother of all homemade sammiches.

I started right – instead of buying a crappy ol’ loaf of bread from the supermarket, I turned to my friend Benjamin at Urban Pantry, the best damn bakery and homemade food service in Bangkok, and asked him if he could help. Being an awesome dude, he immediately suggested a 2lb loaf of heaven might suffice, and even went out and bought a special bread pan for me. I requested onion bread, and boy, did he deliver. Once I had the ingredients, the whole thing took about 45 minutes. When I was done, my creation fed me for two days and was well worth the effort.

Lessons learned: Next time, I’d hollow out the bread a bit more and make the inside cavity a bit roomier (for more stuff!) and I would keep the ‘lid’ intact, as you can see that I broke it apart in my eagerness.

So…now that my cravings for foreign food are well and truly sated, I can happily go back to Thai food and not think of sammiches for at least another few weeks. Check out the gallery below, and let me know how you would improve on my recipe.

Benjamin’s 2lb wonderloaf. Also functions as a blunt force weapon.
The ingredients! Tomatoes, dill, cheese, ground beef, ham, bacon, and chorizo sausage.
I cut the ‘lid’ off the bread but screwed up – I broke it apart, which I shouldn’t have done.
I used the extra bread to scoop up some hummus I bought. Waste not, want not.
Raw beef. Needs fryin’.
Only three pieces of bacon. I’m on a diet.
Beef first, so the bread will soak up the delicious juices and fat. Then tomatoes. For vitamins and stuff.
A sammich ain’t a sammich without cheese. Cheese is like fresh mountain air – more is always a good thing.
For my greens, I layered a healthy selection of dill across the top, for vitamins and stuff.
And we’re done. HAHA! Just kidding. You may have noticed there’s no pork on this sammich yet, a tragic oversight which I will now remedy.
You may have noticed that the chorizo sausage we had earlier hasn’t made an appearance yet, so down that goes.
And finally the lid. It looks pretty ugly all cut up. Next time I’ll remember to leave it intact.
Wrap that bad boy in tin foil…
…and CRUSH IT. An old laptop, about 4 huge books, and a big jar of coins. I left that on for about 6 hours to get everything nice and squished together.
When i took the foil off, I had a sandwich with the density of a neutron star. Here's a cross-section of the finished product.