There’s a very tired joke I like to make whenever some friends and I are oot and aboot in Bangkok. If we see a construction site, I always say “Maybe it will be a museum or library!” and everyone laughs and I get high fives, because 99% of the time it will either be a mall or a condo. Or both. Some love it, some hate it, but you can’t deny that Bangkok’s efforts to overtake Singapore as Asia’s shopping hub are ambitious and persistent.
With that in mind, I got to thinking about how all these new malls will differentiate themselves from the (very fierce) competition. Some of Bangkok’s malls have slogans (“We need more superlatives!”) but most don’t, so I decided to go ahead and make a few.
MBK
Not even we know what stores lurk in our dark corners and forgotten depths.
Paragon
Pioneers in the belief that paying more for things will make you hi-so.
Hi-so? You will be.
K Village
The only in place in Bangkok where you can see someone pushing a dog stroller that costs more than your kids’ stroller.
EmQuartier
Come for the cool food hall and interesting stores. Stay because you can’t find the exit.
Emporium
We were here before Paragon, you know.
Gateway Mall Ekamai
New look and new stores coming in 2013! 2014! 2015! 2016!
Central Embassy
When you want to shop in comfort and silence.
“Helloo…ooo..ooo.ooo…”
Gaysorn
Yes, we’re still open.
Terminal 21
You’re in Turkey! You’re in England! JK, it’s still Bangkok.
Mega Bangna
You spent 300 baht on gas to save 200 baht on a table at Ikea.
Asiatique
We love crowds as much as you do. No, not you, the guy squeezed up against you. No, the other one.
Central Chid Lom
The Zellers* of Thailand. (*Can also use The Bay or Sears)
Central World
Stop whining, the 5km walk will do you good.
Are you ready to walk?!
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