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13 07, 2008

Double Pricing: Moral? No. Legal? You Bet!

Greg2016-11-17T15:48:59+00:00Thailand, Tips on Visiting|0 Comments

One of the first things I learned when I was teaching was that many (if not most) Thais automatically think two things about every non-Asian foreigner: 1) We're rich, and 2) We're Christian. As my curious students pounded me with questions, I was always amused to see their confused looks when I told them the truth, shattering the preconceptions that they picked up from their parents, friends, or very, very silly Thai television shows. I proudly told them that I am closer to Buddhism than anything else and am most certainly very, very far away from being rich. However, the stereotype still persists, and is probably a large reason for the existence of double pricing in Thailand, a practice so outrageously illegal in North America that visitors are nearly always shocked/offended/angered/saddened to see it at nearly every tourist destination they visit.

23 06, 2008

RIP George. Punch Jesus in the Nose for Me.

Greg2016-11-17T15:49:00+00:00Current Events|0 Comments

Today is a sad day for people who like to laugh. George Carlin, the legendary comedian and one of my favourite all-time performers, has died at 71, from heart failure. When I was growing up, I listened to Bill Cosby non-stop; my Mom had a ton of his records. They really helped to shape my sense of humour and got me interested in how to entertain a crowd with simply the power of words. As I grew older, my tastes broadened, and I got into Carlin, whose counter-culture rants really hit a chord with me. I identified with his 'don't like what I have to say? Fine, fuck you!' way of looking at things, and - again - my sense of humour and outlook on life was shaped in a small way by his tapes. He wasn't only anti-authority, he was intelligent, a combination that has for centuries been terrifying those who use fear to retain power (religion, repressive governments, etc). He eloquently spoke the truth, in all its painful glory, and didn't give a shit what you thought. He was the first person I knew of to take what I felt about religion and put is as eloquently as anyone ever has, in his tour-de-force HBO special You Are All Diseased, which I count as one of my favorite stand up specials of all time. Rest In Peace, you miserable old bastard. And thanks for the laughs.

19 06, 2008

How to Mangle the Thai Language

Greg2016-11-17T15:49:01+00:00Language, Thailand|0 Comments

I've lost count of how many times I've left Thailand for a vacation back home, only to have someone ask me, "So how much Taiwanese do you speak?" When I tell them that I don't speak a single word, the quizzical look I get is almost worth the explanation I have to give. Thais, of course, speak Thai, of which the spoken part is a branch of the Tai-Kadai language, which originated in Southern China. The written part of Thai is based on Khmer, which is based on Indic, which is based on ancient Sanskrit. So, as you can see, it's quite confusing - and we haven't even talked about writing or speaking yet.

11 06, 2008

Elephants in the Big Mango

Greg2016-11-17T15:49:01+00:00Bangkok, Thailand, Tips on Visiting|0 Comments

For many visitors, walking around Bangkok will allow them a glimpse of many things they would never see at home, some awful, some amazing. Dudes selling fried bugs, beggars with awful diseases, bike paths that end at brick walls and an alarming cross section of social strata that would make a New York subway station seem like a Ku Klux Klan rally (I'm not even sure if that makes sense). Anyway, anything that can seem a bit odd is desirable - there are so many tourists walking around that to stand out from the crowd will guarantee you a better chance of attracting a bit more attention. One of the strangest sites that visitors can see in the steamy, crowded streets of the Big Mango (lovingly copied in reverence to the Big Apple, but with a decidedly more Asian flavour) is an elephant. A huge, lumbering, real life elephant. In Thai culture, they're highly revered animals, praised for their strength, loyalty and intelligence - one of Thailand's most popular beers is even named after them (see left) - 'Chang' is 'Elephant' in Thai.

7 06, 2008

Getting a Thai Driver’s License the Hard Way – Taking the Test

Greg2016-11-17T15:49:02+00:00Bangkok, Thailand, Tips on Visiting|19 Comments

After living here for over 7 years now, I'm familiar enough with the rules and nuances of Bangkok traffic to know that I never, ever want to drive in it. It's not so much that it's bad - traffic in India or Vietnam makes Bangkok traffic look like a driver's ed training course - but rather that my skill sets aren't useful here. I'm Canadian, so if you want me drive at 80km/h on an icy road with well-defined traffic rules that are strictly enforced and adhered to - no problem. But driving through go-kart-style traffic dodging tuk-tuk's, bug vendors, stray dogs, motorcycles and pedestrians - and with the wheel on the wrong (right) side - well, maybe I better take a taxi. Bangkok has several million of them anyway - if I think of them as my own personal limo service, it's not so bad at all. But despite this, I recently had to get a Thai driver's license. This is normally accomplished by showing your license from your own country to the Department of Land Transport, at which point they'll just transfer it over. But due to an unfortunate case of stupidity, I let my Canadian license lapse, which means it's even less useful than the fake ones you can buy on Khao San Road. The only option I had was to go through the rigmarole as if I was a 16-year old Thai teenager.

So - what does it take to be allowed to legally drive on Thai roads?

24 05, 2008

Which Island Should You Hit First?

Greg2016-11-17T15:49:02+00:00Thailand, Tips on Visiting, Travel|0 Comments

This is a question that, without fail, I'm asked every time a friend visits: which island do I recommend? That's a bit like answering which type of soda I prefer - it will usually vary greatly depending on the mood I'm in. Usually it's Coke, but sometimes I dig a Sprite. Sometimes I want a Diet Pepsi, and other times I'll walk to the corner store just to suck down an Orange Fanta. Thailand's islands are much the same - each offers many of the same things, but also differ greatly depending on where you go. Some have parties, some are nearly deserted; some are little more than miles of beach, others have a few rocky shoals but fantastic hiking in the interior. There are a lot of logistical factors to consider too, such as - can you fly there? If you can, do you have the money to spare? Does the train go there? If it does, do you have the time to spare? Despite not being a beach guy (I get bored after a day or two), I've been to quite a few islands in Thailand - Samet, Chang, Samui, Pha Ngan, Lippe, Lao Liang, Kut, Phuket, Taruato, etc, so I have some basis for arguing. Below, I'm going to talk about which island is my favourite and why. There might even be some math involved.

The first thing you have to keep in mind is that to find the 'tropical paradise' that you see on postcards (miles of deserted beaches unspoiled by development or fat Germans in Speedos), you have to work for it. Essentially - the harder your island is to get to, the nicer it will be.

19 05, 2008

Thailand’s Version of Workplace Safety

Greg2016-11-17T15:49:03+00:00Fun Stuff, Thailand|0 Comments

One of the first things many visitors notice about Thailand is that all the construction workers - putting in ten hour days in 38 degree heat - wear long-sleeve shirts, gloves, full-face masks and wide brimmed hats. It often confuses the pasty tourist, already dripping with sweat after strolling a few hundred feet out of their air-conned hotel lobby. The reason: dark skin is considered ugly here in Asia, and therefore, white skin is very desirable, like in this ridiculous ad that sees a girl using light reflecting off her skin to signal a boat at sea. The reasoning behind the parka-clad construction workers is that working in the sun is a sure sign to get uglier - better to sweat than get a tan (this is likely a holdover from days of yore, when the aristocratic class did no menial labour, and therefore were never outside in the sun). But the other thing that many people notice is the apparent disregard for workplace safety on nearly every construction site.

23 04, 2008

An Olympic Scrap at the FCC

Greg2016-11-17T15:49:03+00:00Asia, Current Events, Politics, Religion, Thailand|0 Comments

That a country like China can claim the international prestige of hosting the Olympics is pretty ridiculous. I won't bother getting into their flagrant human rights abuses, censorship borne of a fear of knowledge and unmitigated arrogance on the world stage; that would be redundant. The question sometimes comes up as to whether someone with the same views as me is anti-China or anti-Chinese government. For me, the answer is most certainly the latter. China's long history and complex culture is one that any country would be proud to have; I have nothing against China or their people. It's their frightened, power-hungry, abusive government that has to go. Last night I had the privilege to attend a talk at the Foreign Correspondent's Club here, with a panel consisting of representative of the Chinese government, a former monk and student of the Dalai Lama, a member of the Free Tibet Network, and a journalist with extensive Chinese/Tibet experience. It was entertaining to say the least.

13 04, 2008

Censorship in Thai Cinemas

Greg2016-11-17T15:49:03+00:00Current Events, Movies, Politics, Thailand|0 Comments

Despite Thailand's leaders promoting the country as a democracy, it's still got quite a way to go until it truly is what they claim. Nowhere is this more evident than when you go to see a movie, where scenes deemed 'harmful to Thai society' are routinely blurred, pixelated, or just plain excised. In my latest post for The Hollywood Reporter, I detail the fight that celebrated director Apichatpong Weerasethakul has with the censorship board and their outrageous, archaic decisions to cut his film; it seems that every country in the world recognizes his films as classics, except his own, which truly sucks balls. It's pretty ridiculous, actually - when you see a guy holding what appears to be a gun-shaped blob of pixels in his hand, you have to wonder what would have brought more scrutiny - a guy with a gun or a guy with a gun-shaped blob of pixels. Most people with a brain would say the former, but hey - this is Thailand. Often, the censorship isn't even noticeable until you see the movie a second time - check out the screencaps below that I got from the Thai version of Music and Lyrics, versus the international version.

28 03, 2008

Visas, Work Permits and the Art of the Lineup

Greg2016-11-17T15:49:03+00:00Tips on Visiting|0 Comments

Never take for granted how cushy it is living as a citizen in your home country. It's quite a shock, moving abroad, especially when it's to Thailand (Asia in general actually, but I live in Thailand so let's use that as our example), where you will never be considered a citizen. It's sometimes a shock to expats living here - back home there are many races, and all are Canadians. Asian, black, Indian, Spanish... if you're a citizen of the country, you're a citizen. You can say African-Canadian, Spanish-Canadian, if you want to split hairs, but you still get all the benefits of being a citizen. Not in Thailand; if you're not born of at least one Thai parent, you will never be Thai, legally nor in the eyes of any Thai person. End of story. So what are we left with? An ultra-bureaucratic maze of paperwork and forms in order to stay in the country legally.