Chinatown Vegetarian Festival – More Fun Than a Bucket of Snakefish

My crazy neighborhood is no crazier than during the period from September 28-October 7, when the Chinese vegetarian festival takes place. During this time, the sois (alleys) around my apartment are packed with crowds of people dressed in white, food stalls selling all manner of food, Chinese opera singers, parades, firecrackers and even the odd acrobat or two. It’s quite the sight. The festival is similar to the Christian observance of Lent, but the rules are a bit different and the celebrations seem to be a hell of a lot more fun. Although to be honest, I haven’t spent that much time praying in front of a statue of a naked guy nailed to a tree – it might be really enjoyable, who knows?

The history of the festival is quite interesting. In Phuket, there is a large Chinese population, and in the early 1800s, a traveling Chinese Opera troupe visited the island but promptly fell ill with malaria. Back then, this was nearly a death sentence, so the actors decided to eat only vegetarian food, both for health reasons and to honor Kiew Ong Tai The and Yok Ong Sone Teh, two Chinese Emperor Gods. Guess what – they got better! From here, the tradition spread, inevitably becoming diluted and mixed with other regional religious rituals (leading to the famous self-mutilation that particular ‘devout’ followers carry out in Phuket – ugh). Most of the followers swear off sex and alcohol, wear white, and come to their favorite temple to pray, burn incense, donate money and, most importantly, eat.

How do you tell an amateur Chinese opera singer from a pro? I have no idea.

“What? You said to light a few candles, you didn’t say ‘small’ candles!”

Cutest parade in history.

What’s the best way to get 100kg of noodles through a crowded alley? Motorbike!

The problem with the vegetarian food is that it’s all deep fried. Sure, there’s no meat, but the calories are through the roof.

“What’s that? You want me to write your name in Mandarin? How do you spell ‘butthead’ in Mandarin?”

Nice bucket of snake/fish/eel things. Why are they in a bucket, you ask? Well…

You see, if you buy some and release them, you earn meritt (brownie points in Heaven). No one’s ever been able to give me a good answer as to how much meritt you’d earn if you just didn’t catch them in the first place.

Friends conducting an interview.

The colors! These are made of bean curd and while they look nice, they’re pretty awful.

Taking a sample from a vendor, who are usually more than willing to give you a taste for free. Kind of like crack dealers!