Never take for granted how cushy it is living as a citizen in your home country. It’s quite a shock, moving abroad, especially when it’s to Thailand (Asia in general actually, but I live in Thailand so let’s use that as our example), where you will never be considered a citizen. It’s sometimes a shock to expats living here – back home there are many races, and all are Canadians. Asian, black, Indian, Spanish… if you’re a citizen of the country, you’re a citizen. You can say African-Canadian, Spanish-Canadian, if you want to split hairs, but you still get all the benefits of being a citizen. Not in Thailand; if you’re not born of at least one Thai parent, you will never be Thai, legally nor in the eyes of any Thai person. End of story. So what are we left with? An ultra-bureaucratic maze of paperwork and forms in order to stay in the country legally. It’s no different from any country actually, but it can be extra frustrating – imagine the usual trying experience in any government office – then imagine that no one speaks English and all the writing looks like squiggles. Below is an immigration experience that I recently had (this afternoon), and some hints as to how to make your visit to immigration as painless as possible.

I went to the ‘one stop’ immigration office up on Lad Phrao to get my 1 year Non-Immigrant B visa and my matching journalist’s work permit (if you want clarification on visa types, try the excellent www.ThaiVisa.com, the most comprehensive site out there) which was painful, but no more than a similar task in any Western country. The exception was that – after waiting for four hours – the woman in charge of the second-to-last step of the process told me that the immigration official at Suvarnabhumi Airport had incorrectly transferred my visa to my new passport when I returned from Vietnam three months ago. I had to go back home, get my old canceled passport, and return the next day. I tried to explain – very politely – that this step would probably work better at the beginning of the process, but she didn’t seem to get what I was saying. Anyway, it all worked out and now I’m legally allowed to live and work in Thailand in one-year chunks.

There are a hundred types of visa classes, a hundred types of work permit rules and regulations and several hundred thousand combinations, so it’s nearly impossible to give out any ironclad advice. Here are some quick hints that will make the process as painless as possible – which isn’t saying much.

After living here for a while, you’ll probably hear someone say something to the effect of “They’re changing the rules, and now every expat will have to work on a rice farm for 2 weeks every year!” Ninety-nine percent of the time it’s bullshit, but that doesn’t mean that the rules don’t change on a moment’s notice. Always check online (don’t forget the Thai Immigration website, although it’s often not updated), or have a Thai friend call them at 0-2287-3101-10.

  • Dress properly when you to go any immigration office. The least you should wear is jeans, a golf shirt and proper shoes; wear a dress shirt if possible. Shaving and/or putting on makeup never hurts either. Best advice: dress like you’re going to dinner with your new boss.
  • To you, Thai immigration officials are God. They are always right. Even if you know they’re wrong, pretend they’re right. If you have an issue with something, never raise your voice; speak slowly; smile through gritted teeth – you don’t want to piss them off. Funny side story – a friend was waiting to get into Kenya once, when the official asked the young American kid in front of my friend for a $20 “entry fee” (read: bribe). The kid gave him $100, the guy said “No change, only $20 bill” to which the kid pushed the money back at him and said “This is American money – you take this!” The official handed him back his passport without a stamp and said “Next!” Thailand isn’t that bad, but why risk it?
  • If you’re going to be here for any length of time, it can often help to make a ‘visa kit’ that you keep stuffed in a drawer. When you need to head to immigration or any sort of official office, just grab it and go. Here’s mine:
Passport (duh), work permit, tax ID card, 10 or 15 4x6 passport photos (plus some smaller ones that you can't see), birth certificate, other random ID (in this case, Canadian health care card), business cards, pen. I also have on hand photocopies of: main page and visa page of my passport, work permit, tax ID card and birth certificate. If any immigration official in the world requests an additional form of ID, about the only thing I can do is donate DNA.

Passport (duh), work permit, tax ID card, 10 or 15 4×6 passport photos (plus some smaller ones that you can’t see), birth certificate, other random ID (in this case, Canadian health care card), business cards, pen. I also have on hand photocopies of: main page and visa page of my passport, work permit, tax ID card and birth certificate. If any immigration official in the world requests an additional form of ID, about the only thing I can do is donate DNA.

And last but not least – if you’re going to immigration, don’t give yourself two hours in the afternoon – take the whole day off if you can, or at least the afternoon. The Thai 30 minutes is often quite different from the western 30 minutes. Get a good book and plan to be there 3 or 4 hours; you’ll either be proven right, or pleasantly surprised.