I find it really interesting that even after all these years in Bangkok, I can still be completely caught off guard when it comes to the nuances and differences between Thai culture and my own. After 12 years I like to think that I understand at least a good chunk of how Thailand works, and if not, at least be experienced enough to anticipate a change here and there, but everyone once in a while, I’ll have the wool pulled over my eyes and end up thinking, “Of course it’s like that, you idiot!” This recently happened to me when I was sent to Toys ‘R’ Us to pick up a fairly standard children’s toy – at least, it’s fairly standard back home.

It was a friend’s bachelor party recently and, being from the middle of Alberta where you can still say you’re a cowboy without having people laugh at you, we thought a cowboy costume would be the perfect way to dress up our buddy for a night on the town. What’s that? Dressing up like a cowboy seems juvenile? Well, we were also going to put dildos in his holsters instead of guns, but that never worked out, is that manly enough for you?

Anyway, off to Toys R Us I went and started the search for cowboy clothes. Walking down the aisles I saw all the standard fare – toy dinosaurs, pool noodles, frisbees, Transformers, trains, Barbies, etc. I walked around the whole store twice but could see nary a cowboy hat or holster or boots or even a sheriff’s badge.

Princess costumes: check. But for 1,200 baht ($40)??

Princess costumes: check. But for 1,200 baht ($40)??

Mobil sets, swords, dolls, toy cars, ant farms, Ben 10 watches…

Thankfully, the classics never go out of style, but 3,600 baht ($116)?? Ugh...maybe it should go out of style.

Thankfully, the classics never go out of style, but 3,600 baht ($116)?? Ugh…maybe it should go out of style.

Finally, I walked up to a staff member and asked if they had cowboy gear. He looked at me strangely and said no, and then it hit me: OF COURSE they don’t have cowboy gear – I’m in Thailand, you moron. In the west, every kid (including me) plays some variation of cowboys & indians. Cowboys are heroes, real people who helped explore and settle our country back in the day. They’re romantic throwbacks to a classic era and every little kid gets exposure to the myth of the cowboy on at least some level.

But in Thailand, cowboys are an imported cultural icon, like Mickey Mouse or ninja or Superman, and even then only a minor one. Sure, there have been Thai westerns, like Tears of the Black Tiger and others that my buddy Wise Kwai can probably list off the top of his head, and there are even still technically Thai cowboys, most notably at Farm Chokchai, which students visit on field trips in great numbers. But in Thailand, cowboys are not nearly as culturally relevant to warrant kids dressing up like them. That’d be like walking into a Toys R Us in Canada and asking for a child’s outfit based on the armor worn by 17th century Thai warriors going into battle against the Khmer army.

Those are some purdy chinstraps.

Those are some purdy chinstraps.

So, I left the toy store with nothing to show for it, reminded once again that the things we take for granted in the west do not always translate well when you’re an expat.

It also got me thinking – what the hell do Thai kids play that would be similar to cowboys & indians or cops & robbers? Maybe it’s some version of it, like “cops & car drivers who make an “illegal” turn and have to pay a “processing fee” to avoid jail time”.