Free speech has the ability to make you behave in much the same way that a child does after a bowl of sugar-coated Corn Flakes – once you’ve tasted it, going back to how you had it before is a kick in the head. Be it a rant against The Man or a punch-bowl full of sugary goodness, it feels good to exercise our freedom to speak and/or eat. (It’s in the Constitution, I checked). So it was interesting a while back when something happened and I thought to myself, “I should put this on my blog” but then decided against it. But the thing that stuck in my craw was the reason I decided against it.

It’s often difficult coming to Thailand from western countries, where free speech is guaranteed and you can say pretty much what you want about someone unless it’s demonstrably false or slanderous. In Thailand, despite free speech being guaranteed in articles 39, 40 and 41 of the 1997 constitution, the government still employs censorship as a tool to silence things and/or people it doesn’t like (apparently they aren’t familiar with the definition of ‘guarantee’ but let’s talk about that another time). Like most tools of state control, it’s largely borne out of fear, although I will concede that there are rare instances where shutting someone down is probably a prudent thing to do.

At any rate, the incident in question happened on my birthday, when I was at a pretty snazzy restaurant at Central World with a group of friends. Now, customer service in Thailand leaves a lot to be desired, but the lack of service here was on a level I’d never seen before; being served by Manuel and Basil Fawlty would have been a godsend by comparison. The standard complaints apply – wait staff seemingly trained to ignore customers, 30-minute waits for plates of plain rice, forgotten drink orders, etc. At one point, I actually got up and walked into the kitchen to get a fork and spoon so that I could eat my now-cold dinner, scaring the crap out of the waiters who were socializing inside. I went back to this place one more time and got the same level of service, and several friends have said the same thing. I wanted to comment on it, but I didn’t because to be honest, this expensive restaurant is likely owned by some pretty important people and I was a bit scared of someone seeing it and suing me for defamation. That pissed me off.

Possibly the perfect free speech protest sign.

Possibly the perfect free speech protest sign.

Defamation lawsuits in Thailand happen all the time for pretty minimal reasons. A former government official was recently sued for 1 billion (with a ‘b’) baht for wondering if Tesco’s aggressive expansion policies were in the best interest of Thailand. Politicians here sue each other in spades for making ridiculous statements that would likely be completely ignored if it wasn’t for the lawsuit. And let’s not forget about when the Bangkok post printed a story saying that Suvarnabhumi Airport’s runway had cracks, it fired the reporter, who was threatened with huge lawsuits, despite the claim being true. Thankfully, he was later exonerated.

Anyway, I could go on and on about media freedom in Thailand. I could mention that internet censorship here is illegal under multiple articles of the ’97 constitution, which doesn’t seem to stop some websites from being censored. I could mention that, according to Reporters Without Borders, Thailand’s press freedom has sunk from one of the highest-ranked in Asia to #124 in 2008. But I won’t. Wait, I did.

How do agoraphobics protest?

How do agoraphobics protest?

At any rate, I’m the type of guy who doesn’t really like to make waves – I’m happy following the status quo if things are going okay. But it’s a nice feeling knowing that I have the right to make waves if I want to. I’m aware that I have to give up a lot when living in another culture and adapt to local rules and regulations, but still… add this to the list of things I miss about home.