Back when I was living in the motherland, I was a media junkie. I had subscriptions to Entertainment Weekly, full cable on my TV, a membership at Rogers Video and a fast (for then) internet connection. I stayed current on new music, television, movies, celebrity gossip, fashion, scandals and gadgets, and never missed the season premiere of a hot new show. But one of the things I wasn’t prepared for when I moved to Thailand was how quickly I would fall out of touch with the things that used to allow me to fit in to western culture so well. As an expat, you often get sharp reminders of just how disconnected you are, and then one day you realize that you might not fit in so well if you ever moved back home.
I first became aware of this when I noticed that the celebrities that the US was vomiting out were always the same age while I just got older. This is a realization that I’m aging, more than anything else, but when the hottest celebs get progressively further below your current age, you start to think “Waitaminute… something’s passed me by here…” There’s more:
I know how Netflix works, but people whining about their queue carry little meaning for me. The Kardashians? I couldn’t tell you why they’re famous if you put a gun to my head. Most of the new TV shows, the people who star in them, and the plots they weave are totally alien to me. I can keep going – Spongebob Squarepants, Carrie Underwood, Boxee, cell phone plans, new fashion, and pretty much any person on the front page of TMZ mean nothing to me. I don’t shop at Amazon.com, I have no idea what the hot bars are in my home city, and am clueless when it comes to what fashions people are wearing. And don’t even get me started on what the hell Jersey Shore is all about.
I just…I can’t even…
It also extends into the real world. My home country’s politics are only vaguely understood these days, from the prime minister to my local ombudsman; I have no idea what the price of gas is, or rent, or food, or DVDs, or how much an average house would cost. What’s the cool catchphrase that people are tossing out these days? When I left it was Whassup? I can only imagine the stares I’d get if I whipped that ditty out now.
How not to be cool: The G2D Version.
The problem with this is that it gets more pronounced the longer you’re away. One or two years isn’t a problem but four? Eight? Ten? At what point do you just give up and realize that you’d be a stranger in a strange land if you went back?
This might all sound pretty pointless, but imagine that you were plopped down at a pub with some friends back home after several years away – I have a feeling that much of what they’d be talking about would go right over your head and the social glue that connected you would feel much less secure than it did before you left.
Thankfully, these cultural touchstones are usually replaced by a wealth of other experiences. The voids are soon filled by new friends, loved ones, shared stories and cultural knowledge. When I ponder all the things I’ve lost touch with, I just imagine how confused my best friends back home would be trying to navigate the relatively simple route from Silom to Sukhumvit. “Don’t worry,” I’d say to them. “Follow me, you’ll get the hang of it soon, just like I did.”
There is a term to describe this – reverse culture shock.
I remember when I left Newcastle, Australia to move to the state capital, Sydney, Bondi Beach to be more exact. I returned back to Newcastle to visit friends after being away a year and they asked what I had been doing – I told them what I had been up to and one old friend said "You've done heaps in the last year!"
I looked blank and honestly stated that I was only referring to my life during the last week.
We never talked again.
Wasssup Greg! I can very much relate to you. I didn't realize how much of a 'Matrix' I lived in back home until I left. Great post.
Hey Greg, I feel the same way everytime I'm return to Singers from Canada.
And to give you another perspective, here I am in Toronto, I don't have TV because we can't afford a Rogers sub, we don't do Netflix (we borrow DVDs from the library), we have no idea who those people are on TMZ either, the Kardashians, Jersey Shore, etc, are the bizarre things we see on the magazines at the checkouts at the grocery store. And gadgets? I managed to get Jeff to give up our landline for a cellphone last year.
Same same, but different.
I think one of the greatest things about living away from home is that you are disconnected from all those mundane things like TV, music, celebrity gossip, pop culture phenomenon, etc. and are replaced with a new set of pop culture (whether that's a good or bad thing is entirely up to you), new wealth of experiences, new culture and a new way of thinking.
Even though I've lived the majority of my life in the US, I've ignored most of the US pop culture like reality TV, new contest shows, Glee, new music releases (for the most part) and have focused most of my energy on Japanese, Thai, Korean and European pop culture. As a result, I had no idea what GLEE was until I looked it up on Google.
So when I go abroad, I feel much more connected (in a shallow way at the very least) to their modern culture and that's something I generally don't experience while living here in the US.
Serene: Good call on DVD's from the library, and it sounds like you're doing an admiral job of ignoring all the crap even though you live among it. Guess if I ever go back I just have to hang out with you and your friends. 😀
Ben: True, there are so many more worthwhile things you can fill your time with. My cousins grew up without TV and I used to think that my Uncle was depriving them of their childhood; now I think it was probably a good idea.
At one point I was away from the U.S. for 14 months, and I lost track of a lot of things that were going on in the pop culture. I really confused my dental hygienist because I thought Desperate Housewives was a reality show…I had no idea! So after 4, 8, 10 years…yeah, you start to be a stranger in your own country.